“For a man to truly find himself, he has to go one place that we’re all entitled to go to. Deep, deep, deep in the mind…”
All you Ultimate Warrior fans probably know that speech he gave on RAW back in 1996. I won’t share the exact date because well, you can look that up on your own and you’ll know why. Jerry Lawler had commented that he was a “lunatic” for talking that way before Goldust came out but again, I get it. It does take quite a while for anyone to truly find themselves because we either are afraid of spending time alone or being judged. Being judged would be mine only years ago and not be people you’d probably think.
Back when I watched good ‘ol WWF, the Sunday morning show of Wrestling Challenge became an emotional ultimate challenge for me. That day we went to church so Superstars on Saturday was a no-brainer depending on which T.V. in the house I chose to watch. While in high school, my Dad decided switching churches to another which was a further drive. The service began at 9:30 and wrestling came on at 11:00. We ALWAYS made it back but guess what I’d be thinking about during the service? Yep, of course. If I knew the Ultimate Warrior was going to be on, I’d get so nervous and antsy. I always felt like lightning ⚡️ would strike me down for not paying attention! 😳
After my brother joined the Navy in Sept. of 1991, I lost a part of myself or so it seemed. Watching wrestling pretty much alone wasn’t the same anymore and I missed our funny banter. So grateful to reminisce with him now… My family knew I still watched but for some reason, I became a “closet watcher.” I’d sneak to watch on any T.V. I could access but change the channel when someone came in the room. That reminds me of Warrior’s story from the book “A Life Lived Forever.” He remembered his step-dad doing the same thing after “Jim” came home from being out with friends. If you can recall, I never shared much about wrestling with my friends but to hide it from my own family who knew I watched seems odd, doesn’t it? 🤔Why was I afraid? Probably because I lost a guy to watch with and was so conditioned to believe it wasn’t for girls. I had to find myself again.
I remember a few times after church when my Mom would be making breakfast. For some reason, Dad didn’t want the T.V. on in the kitchen anymore so I might miss the whole show. I actually would make up excuses to not come down so I could watch WWF upstairs in my brother’s room. Let’s see– a stomachache, I’m in the bathroom, ( for an hour?!) too tired and need to lie down, or anything else. Sometimes SNME was on the night before or I’d be babysitting late so being tired would be a legit excuse! I’d eat later around noon. Did Mom or the others ever figure it out? I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t ever feel comfortable without my brother but I gotta say– never did I miss it despite my excuses. Think I still watched despite U.W. being gone briefly in ’91. Cable ended my run a year or so later but Warrior had moved on and I did too.
Have you ever felt like you lost a part of yourself and needed to find it again? No, I never watched that much after late 1992 but what are your moments where parts needed to come back? You can go deep in your mind or explore other activities like Warrior but be the one to decide if what you lost is worth finding again. I never thought Warrior would re-surface in my life ever. It wasn’t until I bought a magazine in ’93, (Warrior was making the movie Firepower then) and a few years later finding an Action Figure which brought him back to me in a way. Both of those are great stories! Warrior also never thought after all the years of fueding with Vince that he’d ever be found again. Funny how fate has a way of lining things up that we couldn’t imagine ourselves. This is such a testament to my spiritual journey now.
I do know that never would I have looked up Warrior on my own had it not been for some things which became public. Finding myself didn’t mean watching wrestling anymore or even knowing what Warrior was up to. It meant not being afraid of judgments or ridicule for doing something I liked- whatever that could be. I had to learn to have more confidence in myself which took a long time, even into adulthood. Part of this was my own fear. It was me being fearful of all the emotion that would come as a result of not only following anything Warrior was putting out there but admitting it was o.k.
Whatever is preventing you from finding yourself however that looks, don’t be afraid. It’s your true essence calling out and saying: “I know you’re scared but do it anyway!” Once you finally go deep in your mind, heart, AND soul is when the truth will be found. Warrior had to spend lots of time exploring who he really was as a man but stayed true to himself. Sometimes, parts of us get lost, confused, or mixed up but we eventually get led back by fate or the Universe. To find yourself takes hard work but when you do, it’ll never be lost again. Be the warrior who goes deep as we are entitled to go to. Find yourself for your true nature knows the way.
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