Category: Spirit and Belief

“It’s Never One Thing!”

Before I begin today, there’s a few things needing to be acknowledged. First, it’s my daughter’s 13th birthday and also the 5th anniversary of my Warrior logo tattoo. You can find that story blogged or in my book Spirit and Belief. Another memory of five years ago, what an adventure! Now, I have two teenagers– oh my… 😬

O.K., now with the present topic written above. That also seems to be a newer catchphrase of mine and I really think it belongs on a t-shirt (: Think about all those things in your life whether good or bad. It can be people, places, objects, or anything. I will bet the reasons you like or dislike them are many. That’s certainly true for me. Even hobbies or interests give many feelings that are never one thing- like with Warrior.

I often times reference that statement when really discussing him with like-minded folks. You gotta get that celebrity thing out of the way first and learn more. For me years ago, um… that wasn’t an issue. Why would it be? Us fans only saw and knew what was on our T.V’s. What a different world today with all the social media out there. There were always other shows I watched with it being more than one reason why. I know you can think of yours and make a list that fits.

How about a job you have? Whatever it is, I know there are many reasons you have for liking/disliking/having/aspiring etc. that involves something other than one concept. It is anything and everything! Sometimes it really can be one reason but that probably is a rarity. Are you a parent? Why do you live where you are? What foods do you love? How about animals? Just some questions to ask yourself with regards to this huge topic. We all can relate in our lives.

It has been and continues to be quite the evolution with me and Warrior. So many connectors and reasons why he has remained with my own longevity. Just like with any start, we all have a drawing point. That point then expands like it typically does. This is especially true with people. Any relationship begins small with little similarities but then grows into more bigger ones. Of course this can be friendship, romance, physical, or even ya know– spiritual! 🙏🏻💪🏻💙

I have listed so many attributes of mine and Warrior and even made a YouTube video about a pros/cons list. We all need to get to those many reasons that bring us towards something. Maybe there is one thing that beats them all but they are still roped together. It’s like building a house. It needs that foundation to support the rest.

Always have I tried to share my many things with all of you but with Warrior— there isn’t just one! If I had to pick some qualities they would have to be loyalty, honesty, and trust. I know how he felt about those words based on his experiences and yet they parallel mine. I also show the humor since that is so important and maybe one not too many associated with him often. Always find something good, even in naysayers.

The truth is that none of us are one thing at all. If you ask others what they like or admire about you, it’s more than likely one thing. Disliking is different but respect should be many attributes. At least I hope that’s how it is for any of you. Sometimes relationships end over one element and that’s unfortunate. My wish is that they get stronger over time based on how we grow and evolve. Everyone is different though.

I love how honest kids are with stuff. They might like or dislike something for just one reason. How many times have I heard similar answers from my own!? “It’s just funny!” “I just like it.” (Or don’t) “It’s mine!” It just might be that simple for us adults too. For most though, we have more reasons and want more.

My whole life has never been just one thing with most of the passions I pursue. Can you answer the same? If not, no big deal but just always remember to start small and keep that foundation from crumbling…….

www.spiritandbelief.com

~~ Here is my video from a few years back as to reasons why Warrior is working with me in spirit!

https://youtu.be/Zt0AKfand9Q

My “Backbreaker” Injury

Warrior Fans– don’t be alarmed by this title! I never did actually break my back but just had to use a wrestling move as it pertains to a former injury of mine. I mention this briefly in a chapter of my book Spirit and Belief. The DIY Warrior Girl never gives up and wants to do things without help. This is great but can become complicated at times.

My injury many years ago is not comparable to Warrior’s concerning his ankle but once again, reactions and emotions are all the same. He detailed breaking his ankle during the end of a match with “King” Harley Race. This was early in the Ultimate Warrior’s career and a first big opponent. The story is quite graphic involving his ankle swelling up as big as his thigh which led to a staph infection. He would suck the puss out when no one was around until he got caught. Wow– so lucky it never amounted to gangrene!!!

The first time I watched that interview on the Ultimate Collection DVD, I immediately thought of my injury at work over twenty years ago. Very surprised to have that come to mind and yet it did. This preschool involved a different approach while still incorporating traditional teaching. It was more gym-based which involved building obstacle courses and using equipment. So wish I had this type of experience as a child, what a confidence booster.

I was moving a big wooden tunnel across the floor as one of the wheels got stuck on the carpet. My back shifted and I felt it. No big deal as I just continued on assisting the other teacher. Later on, it hit me. Breathing became difficult but I had to get through the day. It would pass, right?

Well, it didn’t for quite a while. Good thing it wasn’t a fractured disk! I remember the pain being mostly in my lower back and then right under my rib cage. What would a chiropractor do? Paging “Dr. Hellwig!” 😜 I never took anything at first but just tried supporting my back by sitting up against hard surfaces. That first night I went and found a wooden board to use with my back and the wall. This was the best way to watch T.V.

The next day was really tough getting up from lying down all night. I knew then my alarm would have to be set earlier to give me extra time. At work I did my best to bend correctly from my knees as to not aggravate the injury more. When we sat, I needed that wall for support. Here’s where the feeling is the same as Warrior’s injury. I also didn’t want anyone to know since this was early in my years there.

I took Tylenol and just waited it out. My mom said I should see a doctor but really– why? Plus, I had it under control but just prayed nothing would worsen. We didn’t regularly see doctors anyway so a specialist was not in my independent plans. I seem to recall someone at work noticing me grimacing a little once but shrugged it off as nothing. After about a month, the pain finally subsided and I felt much better. I still moved slow as to not re-injure but with time, it healed.

Who knows how I exactly remembered my “backbreaker” story as Warrior was talking about his ankle. Maybe because of his almost profession or perhaps both of our independent ways of fixing it ourselves. I believe it was both. Yes, he did get help and my injury healed but we both did our own mending first. The warrior spirit is the same- always. 💖

My injury obviously wasn’t as serious or as dramatic but the mindset was and still is. There were so many of my stories brought up as I watched or listened to him tell all his. The logic might not equate but the emotion does with everything I recalled.

I still kinda giggle when I see a backbreaker move in wrestling but especially when thinking of Wrestlemania VI. Gorilla Monsoon says: “… cervical vertebrae area.” Jesse Ventura corrects him with: “No, Monsoon it’s the back!” Gorilla’s response: “Oh, sorry.” What a different career Warrior would’ve had as a chiropractor.., After all, he did call himself “Dr. Warrior” sometimes! I do have a sunburned back so perhaps the doctor will see me now!!! 😉

~~ He could’ve been a Doctor during the week and bodybuilder on the weekends! I can’t even imagine him without wrestling, can you???

Creative Collections

I wouldn’t be where I am today with these warriorwritings without YOU collectors. So many things have I experienced but without Ultimate Warrior fans sharing, my work wouldn’t be out there fully. This post is a THANK YOU to those willing to give their collections a voice for all fans, big or small. You KNOW who you are! I thank you for sharing your stories, photos, collections, videos, and for recognizing me as one of your OWN. Obviously, I am not that avid collector and have shared my small treasures but all of us keep Warrior’s legacy alive in many ways.

Boy, have times changed! Years ago people collected stamps, baseball cards, comic books, bottle caps, and many other things. I even had a sticker book around age 8 and us girls brought them to school and exchanged. I kept that too… My son collects magnets from our family vacations. Nowadays, some little girls collect beanie babies or kids are even competing with APPS on their phones! A different time indeed…

Do you collect anything that means something to you? For all you warriors— I mean other stuff besides your U.W. items. Is there something you had as a kid that you still like today? I used to love rocks and seashells so perhaps now my spiritual self was drawn to crystals (and feathers– hehe!)

Don’t be afraid to share it with someone. It just might connect to your life in ways you could never have imagined. Why are you drawn to certain types of collections? Sometimes we just like something but there can be a more meaningful reason. Am sure you Ultimate Warrior fans know what I mean.

I respect all of you for whatever type of collection you have. We are all different and if it means something to you, great! Pay no attention to those who “don’t get it.” Even though it may not be quite in line with yours, it’s theirs and that’s all that matters. I see so much online with U.W. memorabilia and also believe Warrior appreciates it all. He knows his true fans. There is that extreme mindset as a collector I don’t have but still marvel at what you do. It is part of your life just like everything else. We need like-minded fans who connect and relate.

Back then, the merchandise wasn’t remotely what it is today and the options now are huge. Like I’ve said before, it all counts and little things make a difference. Someone might not be the kind of fan you are but does it really matter? Nope, not at all. Being exactly the same gets boring.

I believe it’s wonderful to have something outside your 9-5 job or any of those roles that define us. It’s sad when you don’t. Get a hobby, interest, activity, or anything that makes you feel good. Your collecting can also give you income but it gives you so much more. We’re all still kids even as adults with our stuff and “quirks.” They make us who we are. Most of you guy collectors are not afraid to share— good for you! I say guys since I have yet to find many women U.W. collectors or even wrestling in general. If you’re out there– find me! I would love to hear your stories!!!

Don’t feel like you need a collection in order to have a connection with something other than a job. I just feel like other aspects of ourselves need to be recognized too so we can have fun.

Often times, I’d feel differently having a few Warrior collectibles– kinda like I didn’t belong. I now know all that isn’t my style and I am a warrior girl in the way that works for me. My book Spirit and Belief is testament to that. So, don’t compare your collections to anyone else’s either. Be proud of what you own since it is an extension of you.

Sometimes we can get caught up in wanting more all the time. Guess that depends on how much time you invest but you’ll know what’s right for yourself. Maybe you will never find that elusive item but be grateful for the ones in your possession. I know I am. I think I’m a person that if more items were presented to me, additional storage would be needed! Seriously though, personally seeing hundreds of action figures in my care would overwhelm me too much. That’s just me. That doesn’t mean it has to be you.

I give you Ultimate Warrior collectors a title or belt of your choosing for all that you collect. It is amazing to me and truly I remain awed every time. If you don’t have a belt, am sure you’ll get one soon! Thank you for always sharing your memories with me as it makes it easier sharing mine with you. For any of you creatives– post more videos of your expansive merch! I love seeing it all. We are all ultimate collectors that remain passionate and loyal. Like Warrior himself has said: “unique and different all to its own!”

~~P.S. The black crystal in the photo is bloodstone. Didn’t know at first how it is also called the “Warrior stone.” #signseveryday 💙😉🙏🏻

www.spiritandbelief.com

The “Point” of Perfection

Do you strive for perfection? Does it frustrate you when things are not perfect? The photo above looks so perfect to me after my hair was highlighted. That isn’t my “real” look, other selfies will prove that. 😉 I’ve discussed this topic briefly but wanted to explore a little deeper. Warrior wanted perfection in many areas of his life. Some days, I want to scream at him and then some I say: “I get it…”

I’ve never really explored ME and perfectionism. You see, it’s kinda easier talking about someone else but when it’s yourself, that’s tricky… I am a Virgo so being organized is my thing but there’s another challenge. A big issue with me that I have in common like Warrior is body image. O.K.— obviously NOT in the same way but remember, feelings are.

All three of my siblings had the same body type when they were younger and then there was me. I was never that heavy but they were all smaller than my size. Boys metabolism is different than girls but I struggled with weight issues often. I wasn’t necessarily jealous of other girls since being a size 0 is not a number to me.

I even worked out with my best friend at age 12 the wrong way just to lose weight. Now, I have these faded stretch marks that aren’t from birthing babies. Slimfast became part of my life for a few years in high school in beyond. It’s great and worked but the truth is, I didn’t really need it. Plus, it hurt some of my heavier friends that felt intimidated and threatened. Ahhh, girls…

Now, it is much different for me with healthier food choices, a workout of cardio and yoga, and feeling good FIRST. I can’t do a headstand but I can rock push-ups!! It isn’t the number on a scale anymore. Maybe being different then got me thinking more like a warrior. She was always there. I just had to find her. I did get some help later on from the Ultimate one! 🙏🏻💙

Being in a body conscious profession is much different but hey, even “Mr. Perfect” wasn’t perfect! Warrior lived his whole life with that body molded the way he wanted. The truth is– that shouldn’t and doesn’t define us. When I’d watch certain parts of The Ultimate Collection DVD, I would cringe when Warrior discusses perfectionism. He had to go back eating tuna fish and water since having THAT body is what people would remember about his character and “that’s what they were going to get.” I still shake my head in disbelief. Sure, it’s right there in front but his body is never what this warrior girl would remember— EVER. Alright, the teen girl yes, the real me, no. We are all more than bodies.

I always wanted to ask Warrior if he was satisfied with his body. Was it ever enough? Maybe it never was for him. There’s a line in the movie “Welcome to Marwen” that says: “Pain is our rocket fuel.” I paid attention to that and right away thought of Warrior. Perhaps that’s true for some.

I also want to know about why he didn’t get Hulk Hogan “all the way up” in WMVI. I mean, were his elbows bent a quarter inch? He said he “can’t sit with anybody…” Am sure he’d sit with me by now and explain all of it. I would love to hear his side. He even admitted that maybe shaking the ropes on his final RAW appearance was too much. Even then he was still his own worst critic. We all are.

It isn’t just fitness that propels perfection. It can be any area of your life really. Personally or professionally. What is it like for you? Being perfect is non- existent and yet we strive for this in many ways everyday. Sure, sometimes when things line up we feel a huge sense of accomplishment but there is so much more to ourselves, so much more. Often times, body issues tend to reflect girls and women but it does affect boys and men too.

It all depends on your mindset and self-esteem. I thought people would notice me more once I lost weight. Well, they did but at that time it was for others, not me. I hate to use the word “obsession” since it depends on your situation. You can push to exhaustion but is it truly the right way to go? I know Warrior had no regrets but perhaps now as a spirit, he is evolving another way without his physical self.

The pressure is enormous and we put way too much of it on ourselves. You can be fit, healthy, and active but is it worth the pain for you? Maybe it is, that’s your answer to figure out. I always admired Warrior without judging him as we all have mindsets filled with our own perfection.

I cry, scream, maybe laugh, and then just reflect. More and more I try my best to understand Warrior’s “point” of perfection and all the whys. Yours can be big or small but just know life is deeper. We are perfect in better ways and it isn’t our body that needs to to be all the time. I believe we need to accept ourselves more. It can be enough that day even if yesterday wasn’t.

I saw so many other qualities of Warrior besides his character. He wasn’t perfect. I am not either, none of us are in life. My “point” isn’t perfection. It’s respect. Then. Now. Always…….💖👏🏻💪🏻

The Cactus Plant Paradox

image_578415914434925          With Spring in full bloom, I’d like to share a story involving some plants of mine. They do connect with Warrior and me, of course! A few years ago, I had some beautiful pink geraniums. They were blogged about on 4/4/17 and became part of my book Spirit and Belief . Those geraniums were an integral part of my spiritual journey as they made me notice signs in nature more. They also connected with many aspects of Warrior while reading about plant vibes in Rebecca Rosen’s book Spirited. Plants will become more vibrant with spirit energy attached to them as evidenced with my geraniums.

     The reason I’m mentioning them is because I have a new cactus plant. No, it isn’t like the desert ones but a Christmas variety. I got very close to my geraniums because of their universal spirit energy and when one died out, the stronger one remained. She held on for TWO AND A HALF YEARS even though they are annual flowers. Two leaves were still holding on thru Thanksgiving and I knew she was planning on joining her sister soon.

     As Christmas neared, I attended a Holiday Party put on by my spiritual group Harmonic Journeys. It was a potluck and gift exchange which became quite the evening for me. We passed around wrapped gifts while “Twas the Night Before Christmas” was read. The narrator inserted the words “right” and “left” which meant passing those gifts. At the end of the story, you received the gift in your lap.

     The man next to me kept joking as a very heavy bag was always in my hands. I didn’t end up with that one but another cloth bag which seemed much lighter. I opened it to find a plant inside! A few feelings filled my head: “Who would bring a living thing to a game that’s kinda physical?” My next statement was: ” Oh no, not another plant to care for!” The last one was simply: “What will my cat do?” Geraniums and aloe can be dangerous to cats and I had both.

     People seemed to congregate near me in amazement as I was so confused by their fascination. They informed me it was a Christmas cactus that blooms a few times a year while not being toxic to cats. This cactus had the SAME color buds as my geraniums– hot pink! My negativity slowly changed into something else. Maybe this one plant was telling me it was o.k. to let the other one go.

     I gotta say though– I am not a replacement kind of gal, are you? Most avid readers will know. Some things we need to replace if they break, get lost, or wear out. What I mean is with things of a different state. You know, plants or even pets. We never even got another dog until years later after our first one passed. The same was true of our cat. Many reasons as to why and it is different for all. Some people replace right away because of a want, not a need.

     My pink “splash” geranium was ready to go and I knew it was time. I wasn’t holding on to her for nostalgia but just wanted to see if she’d survive another winter. I can’t physically throw out plants or flowers anymore. Guess I’m more mindful now… My daughter teased me for taking the flower girl out to our fire pit. I dug her out of the potted soil and took what was left back outside, roots and all. I placed her on top with some branches needing to be burned while reflecting. Some tears came as I thanked her for all she’d given me on this journey. This was very much the ritual for her and me. I needed to honor her, Warrior, her sister, and the Universe. Her beautiful pink blooms, the word SPLASH on one of the tags, the price being $6, everything mattered. All these things energetically tied to Warrior.

     She has gone back to nature as she came to me and now a new friend is placed in my care. I do hope C.C. as I call him blooms again with that pink color synchronistically brought to me. Caring for and nurturing anything truly does make a difference if your intentions remain genuine. Embrace what is before you since it will always lead to more adventures.

     My pink geraniums got me thinking deeper just like Warrior. My Christmas cactus got me believing how letting go is necessary in order to grow again. Memories remain as does love. It just changes form. People or plants— we all are connected to the Universe. Thank you Universe for bringing me these signs as I will ALWAYS BELIEVE!!!

 

     ~~~ P.S. I recently attended a yoga retreat and this woman had her dog in the car napping. She checked on her periodically and the dog was fine. I found out the pup’s name was “Madigan!” Not spelled like Mattigan Warrior but STILL!!! Madigan means “little dog!” We were MEANT to meet…. Dingo is Australian for “wild dog” , you know the Dingo Warrior!

The Ultimate “Unstable” Pianos 🎼🎹🎸

All Ultimate Warrior fans know his theme music of “Unstable.” It’s one of those WWE melodies you’d never forget and I never have either. Never will. Once I heard it, it was in my head just like all those other songs we hear over and over which become favorites.

When I was that teenage girl, one day our piano was calling my name. This piano belonged to my great uncle and now we had it in our home. My mom would play, my sister took lessons briefly, and my Grandpa played when he and Grandma visited. They also had a piano in their home for years.

Well, guess my brain wanted to learn the notes for “Unstable.” Not that whole song you see above but just the three basic ones. It’s so simple! The music itself looks complicated but really it isn’t. I got it after a few short tries. Nobody recognized this but me, probably not even my brother. Many times I’d be psyched about seeing the Ultimate Warrior on T.V. or an upcoming match, I’d pass by the piano in our dining room. I’d play those three repetitive notes of “Unstable.” Also, when I’d be having a bad day and needed a pick me up, those notes on that piano worked every single time.

Years went by and after my parents divorced, mom sold our house. My sister took the piano so it remained in the family. Flash forward a few more years to 2014. Don’t worry– no sadness. Christmas Eve we were at my sister’s and the kids always gravitated to the piano in their front room. I hadn’t thought of U.W’s theme in years but that year was different.

Immediately, I went towards the piano and told the kids I wanted to play. Those three notes came easy as I remembered like always. There was such mystery of saying how I learned this little song years ago and never forgot. Oh, the memories that pop in our heads! I left the room giggling as they continued tickling the ivories.

My son had a toy keyboard and yes, again “Unstable” was played. Maybe I had that same silly mentality with this song like I did with grief. “If I don’t cry, I’ll forget him. If I don’t play Unstable, I’ll forget it.” None of this is true and yet perhaps part of me believed that back then. A few Christmases ago, my daughter got a REAL big keyboard (the one in the photo.) Guess this really does belong in the family.

Of course, where did my mind go? You got it. I had to play and sometimes when the mood strikes, my fingers find their way into her room and onto the keyboard. About a month or so ago, this girl was desperately needing my attention with a song she taught herself on the keyboard. She does have a book but this song was a little bit special. NO– it was not “Unstable!” I mean, really??? She was convinced Mama would KNOW this song but I knew she had been playing cartoon themes. She played a little and wanted me to guess. I had no idea. It was played again and I tried so hard but nothing came to me. She hummed it and then I knew. It was “Heaven” by Bryan Adams. Just a few lines but I was impressed! How did she know this?

I asked her why this song? She didn’t really say except that I liked it. I asked her to play it later so Dad could hear but no, it was just for me. Yeah, it’s a romantic one but the title– hmmm… She didn’t find a YouTube video and we don’t have it on a CD. It does get played on the radio sometimes but she just learned it. Maybe she can learn by ear like her great aunt? Maybe she was also given a message?

A day or so later, my husband and I were in the car and the song “Heaven” by Bryan Adams played on the radio. I then told him the story of our girl and her keyboard. Music strikes again as synchronistic. 😉 She hasn’t played it since but just like with “Unstable,” now I won’t forget “Heaven.”

The number three connects as well with my childhood piano, (becoming my sister’s) my son’s toy keyboard, and then my daughter’s REAL one. All three notes. She could’ve had any song in her head but it was very specific and just for me. I am still amazed every time as at first this story was just about the other two. Quite possibly I needed that three count once again.

Those “Unstable” pianos will always be ultimate but now a little piece of “Heaven” connects them all. 🙏🏻🌄

P.S. When I first got the “Life Lived Forever” book, I asked my son to play “Unstable” on his trombone. He says:”Um, mom, this is for guitar!” Back then– brain freeze!!

P.P.S. We DO have “Waking Up The Neighbours” by Bryan Adams circa 1991. Another song about Heaven on that one! Bryan Adams is Canadian=WMVI=Canada 😁🇨🇦

The History Term Paper

Did you fans actually think I wrote a Term Paper on the Ultimate Warrior? LOL! Can you just imagine? 😳😬 Maybe if it was a biography or something but um… no. This story arose from another “flashback” of mine more suited for next year. It concerns Wrestlemania VI so 2020 will mark its 30th anniversary. That’s also when I graduated high school. I probably wouldn’t let it out of my memory bank but needed some funny back after these last few weeks. Not gonna wait ’til next year after all!

For my U.S. History class, our term paper near the end of senior year was on the Great Depression. We had weeks of course to stay on track with prep work. The whole nine yards really. Finding sources, having a Table of Contents, notecards, bibliographies, and all that for a timeline. The teacher gave us more specific topics to help as a guide. Do you think I picked from that list? Nope, not at all.

I wanted to be even more specific with how the Great Depression affected family life. The economy or government stuff didn’t interest me like the personal connections did. Makes sense to me now. I asked the teacher about this and she agreed to my idea but advised on lack of references. This didn’t stop me! Remember– no true internet then so you had to rely on books, magazines, (or “periodicals,”) and the good old fashioned Microfiche machine. Remember that? You could access newspapers so YES even in 1990 that still existed for research.

How is this connected to Warrior? Well, here comes his part in all this. One night I ventured out to the library. Warrior would love that. It was time for some serious work without the distractions of home. This was just around the time after WMVI so distractions in yet another ultimate way! Despite that, the library was upon me. I remember vividly going downstairs to the basement where all the reference areas were.

After a bit of time, I needed to find some “periodicals” and that back space was huge! I actually can’t remember the details (I know, right?) but for some reason ended up in the “W” section. I really was back there for my story– no joke! Guess what I saw? You’re looking at it up above. That was not the latest issue of the WWF magazine but the Ultimate Warrior just happened to be in the front. He did appear on two covers in 1990, June and Nov. but I was there in April. My report got side-tracked as I picked up the magazine and sat on the floor reading it! Why didn’t I just check it out with all my other materials? Couldn’t do that…

I did finally find what was needed for my report but ended up arriving home a little later than expected. Guess that “research” took longer– HA-HA! This goes along with my newer catchphrase of “I Can’t Go Anywhere.” Even back then. Do any of you remember my post on “Stand Up, Stand Out, Deliver?” The teacher who gave me a bad grade on a report was this experience.

I worked my A_ _ off on that report and got too many corrections from her without merit. She did raise my grade and gave me 3 out of 5 points proved. I stood up and THAT’S being a warrior. The history part he would also love. I always did the work and continue doing the work everyday. I hope you do too. That report was kept for a bit but then I grew tired of knowing her red marked corrections didn’t define it. It was tossed but my library adventure in the “periodical” section never would be.

This was a few years before I really did buy my first wrestling magazine. It has been blogged and also mentioned in my book Spirit and Belief. I will always have my Great Depression term paper story which connects Warrior and me. Five years ago was another time of depression but we are past those posts….. History, a library, and a magazine all involved the Ultimate Warrior then which gave me a great April memory. Not to mention WMVI of course!

I guess thanks need to be given to that teacher who brought out more of my warrior self. She still battles on today as a warrior woman to the core.💪🏻💖👏🏻👍

www.spiritandbelief.com

Moments and Memories

This post will conclude my experiences and emotions regarding five years ago with Warrior’s passing. I’m not sharing my whole day of shock upon hearing the news on April 9, but wanted to relate my grief and the tribute on RAW April 14.

When my brother informed me of the tribute, I had no idea of what to expect. I just knew for those brief minutes that WWE would be on my T.V. that night. The whole day my stomach was in knots as time passed way too fast. I became more immersed in my activities while trying to avoid distractions. So many scenarios played out in my head as I anticipated that volcano inside my throat. 🌋

I had to tell my husband why I wanted to watch RAW which we don’t. So needed to form my words correctly without tears. Prior to this, it was our family game night that the kids initiated a few weeks before. They picked Clue Jr. and Mama calmed her heart to play. Sometimes these games take too long and had to mention possibly cutting it short. There was something on T.V. their Mama needed to watch. Luckily, it ended with about 20 minutes before 8:00–RAW time.

I explained to my husband how my favorite wrestler passed away recently and they were giving him a tribute on RAW. No big deal to him really. Why did I care so much? After all, it wasn’t just his T.V., right? The eerie part for me was where I sat to watch. Really wasn’t even thinking but ended up in the exact same spot I sat a week ago. A week ago when Warrior was still alive making his last television appearance on RAW. That didn’t faze me until later. Very different feelings just 7 days ago.

While watching after several minutes, my husband saw part of the Ultimate Warrior‘s IC title win over Honky Tonk Man. He looked at the T.V. pointed to HTM, and asked:“Is that him?” He meant Warrior. Since I never liked the bad guys as previously blogged, my face grimaced some while slowly saying:“Noo, he’s the other guy…” Not wanting to cry, a little smile formed on my face. Let’s just say emotion-wise that his comment about HTM was better than if we’d seen Undertaker!!! So very glad to see the Honky Tonk Man get inducted this year.

Guess the humor was needed for just a moment. My husband was completely clueless about all this and I wasn’t ready to share. I was actually better than I thought during the tribute but music gets me every time. Every single time. The song “One More Time” by

7 Lions was perfect with the part played. It seemed so wrong to hear the Ultimate Warrior’s theme music without seeing him running or just physically there. I applaud Triple H for getting the crowd going as hearing that music, well, you just can’t sit still. I do have a post about “Unstable” coming soon so stay tuned… Of course the next day, I watched it all again by myself tissues in hand. 💔😢

After the memorial tribute was over, I knew that volcano needed to erupt. I tapped my foot constantly while digging my nails into the side of the couch. I told my husband he could change the channel as I left the room.

Going upstairs to be alone seemed too obvious so I made my way into our half bathroom off the kitchen. After a few moments of silenced sobs, I turned on the faucet full blast to mask my tears. My ugly cries came yet again. That early April made me lose my voice from grief but I blamed it on the exceptionally warm spring which brought about my “cold.”

I’m sharing my story not out of extreme sad memories or my horrible emotional state back then at all. It is being written to show how grief knows no barriers whatsoever. We all grieve, even over losing things. It isn’t just people. I’ve even grieved over getting our new van a few years ago after having our first one 11 years. This year, it’s a new pool that’s replacing our old one and yes, I’ll grieve again. Am sure Dana grieved when selling Casa de Warrior a few years back.

Your grief is yours alone and it knows no time. You will know what journey is truly yours and there is no comparison. Some can say I was crazy to grieve so long and hard for a celebrity. Believe me, I questioned it also. Grief never fully goes away but just changes over time. I debunk many myths we buy into in my book Spirit and Belief.

I kept so much hidden for various reasons and very glad not to hide anymore. Slay those naysayers warriors! Don’t ever feel like your grief doesn’t matter because it does!! Perhaps Dana seemed so strong to all of us but she has such a huge support system which I never had.

Remember that we all need to be validated and go thru a process to get where we are today. We all go in different directions but need support along the way. I validate your grief for whatever reasons and truly understand. We need to let it out and not push it down. Without my process, I wouldn’t be doing all I am now in memory of Warrior. He gave me that validation and supported me from the start.

So, I am moving on from these moments and memories as I continue making new ones. Please do that too. My humor will be back very soon as it is the backbone of many posts! I realize sharing your grief or stories can be so challenging but know you are not alone. Grief makes us stronger.

Just don’t wallow too much as the spirit needs to laugh as well. Make that grief your OWN and let it pass as it needs to. A Warrior is strong but also tender. Celebrate how your sadness makes you real because it matters. A relative, celebrity, an object or memory, we have them all. Some we lose but some we keep. Make sure you keep what’s important as it reflects your life. The ones you keep are imprinted in your soul. Never let anyone deny that of you.

I will never forget April 14 as another moment and memory for me but know it let to a higher purpose. My story makes a difference just like yours does for you. Never by defined by myths, they are meant to be debunked. Grief will lead to joy. Go with it and your strong warrior self will make it truly ultimate. Being “sensitive,” “emotional,” or “too dramatic” isn’t a curse. It’s a blessing and what a life lesson it has been for me. 💙💪🏻🙏🏻~~~ Kathy

www.spiritandbelief.com

Five HOF Warrior Years

With Wrestlemania 35 and the WWE HOF this weekend, I’d like to share a few of my HOF related memories. I, like most true Ultimate Warrior fans will always remember his induction five years ago on April 5, 2014. As readers of this blog and quite possibly my book Spirit and Belief also may know, two signs in my home fell on April 5, 2016. The third April 5 connector was just last year when I attended a book event that became “The Library Lift-off” blog post. So, April 5 will always remain as another of my most fondest memories with dates and Warrior. Maybe I’ll get something next year with those even numbered years?

Five years ago also brought the first basketball game we attended as a family. My husband and I had gone to a few but never with the kids. My son in 4th grade (yet again with that grade!) had won a ticket to see the Cleveland Cavaliers through school. We were all so excited! Our family of four celebrated my son’s birthday a week later even though the Cavs lost. It was so great seeing this boy getting into the crowd with his chants of “DEFENSE!” I can’t believe he just turned 15.. 💙😲 Where have five years gone???

I remember glancing upward seeing retired jerseys in the rafters. Those names were of players I followed back in high school. Just like a memory of someone else I followed in high school.

While watching the game, my mind thought of Warrior who later in the evening would take his rightful place in his professional home. I did have several moments of distractions of course but all filled with such pride. First my son and then of Warrior. I guess it was a good thing being at the arena instead of home for me that night.

The Cavs may have lost but my son won with inviting our hometown team into his heart. That began those two years of emotion until our BIG title win in 2016. Warrior also won with a different kind of victory that didn’t involve a court or even a wrestling ring. He was gifted with an HOF ring meaning much more than a title or a belt.

So, again where have these last five years gone? I ask that sometimes over the years with my kids but never thought that question would involve Warrior on his passing. That’s why I wanted to remember and share in his HOF more. I’m not one of those mothers who gets all sappy with time. Sure, I can go there in a second but I don’t. It can seem like just yesterday in many ways but the feeling is neutral for me.

I was always home with my kids so heck yeah– the time is very real in its years! They are 15 and almost 13. The same is true of Warrior. Five years can seem like yesterday but then after everything I’ve gone through, it really sounds about right being that long.

When looking at photos, it’s the same yet again. I have a picture of my son from another Cavs game in his photo frame where I see it everyday. That twelve year old looking so intent had no idea Mom was taking his picture. Yesterday and now all at once. The photos I have of Warrior echo that too as is probably true for all of us.

Do you perceive time passing the same or different than me? Guess that all depends on your life and those moments lived which are different for each person. There is no time or space up in parts unknown so as a spirit, Warrior isn’t confined anymore with those terms as we are here.

However you view time, just make it count and become memorable. Warrior would want nothing less from us as he always made his moments count. Gosh, I can still view myself first watching WWF and can’t believe that was 35 years ago! BTW– I was 12. Videos bring memories back even more than photos and that’s o.k. too. It’s good to remember but just don’t live in the past too long.

I reflect on many dates and passages of time but need the happy more than the sadness. I hope you do the same. Five years, thirty, or thirty-five, remember with pride and then live for the now.

~~~ Happy Five HOF years Warrior as I look back on April 5 and know that time passes as it must. ~~~”This too shall come to pass and until we meet again, I will always believe!” ~~ Kathy (with a little bit of quoting Warrior)

P.S. I first started watching WWF 35 years ago as it becomes WM35 this year! 💖💙👏🏻💪🏻🙏🏻

P.P.S. I have used a few HOF pics before so wanted a different one for this post!

www.spiritandbelief.com

To Kill A Mockingbird

I decided to end this month of literacy by sharing one of my favorite books. The last time I mentioned a book was by the ever popular Dr. Seuss. When I taught preschoolers, we always celebrated his birthday at the start of March with many fun activities. I do believe To Kill A Mockingbird is one of Dana Warrior’s favorite books too and I have some personal connections with the wonderful Harper Lee.

To Kill A Mockingbird was one of the many class books we read during my freshman year in high school. Remember also those Gods and Goddesses were that year too! My son will be reading Ms. Lee’s famous book soon so Mom will be interested for sure… I became so enthralled with this story as our class also watched the movie where Gregory Peck won the Oscar for Best Actor. It was a favorite of mine over 30+ years ago and remains true to my heart today. My freshmen English teacher was also so dear to me and I had her for another subject as well.

This teacher taught freshmen but had the additional job of being the senior class advisor. My senior year also brought on WrestleMania VI but more on that next year as it will reach a BIG milestone…, *** I couldn’t wait to get one of my favorite teachers to sign my yearbook as graduation got closer. Before asking her, I was one of two girls chosen to lead our graduation ceremony! How in the world did I receive that honor? I joked with her saying there were shorter girls than us but that wasn’t why. She valued me as a student and that really impacted me. Us girls made two lines on either side of the auditorium as I beamed with pride. She picked me. ME… It was something I never forgot and never will. Also, graduation means “Pomp and Circumstance” which was Randy Savage’s entrance music. Back then, oh no! Today, “oh yeah!”

When I did ask my teacher to sign the yearbook she mentioned our times in class together. She wrote this: “You lead your class beautifully! Long line Atticus!” Atticus Finch is the main character in To Kill A Mockingbird. Three years later and she remembered personally. Words do matter just like I mention in my book Spirit and Belief. We never forget the influence they have. I never forgot Warrior’s either. It’s like the WWE slogan previously blogged about Then, Now, and Forever. It’s never just the words but how they make you feel. Whatever that emotion is, it stays with you if it truly matters.

After my Grandma passed away over six years ago, my mom and I began cleaning out many things from her house. I ventured up into the attic alone to contemplate and relive memories by myself. She had this enormous rotating wooden bookstand one would find in a library. Years before, I’d come take a peek but now stayed longer. My Grandma had given me Danielle Steel romance novels to read long ago but now I saw others.

It was then I spotted one of my favorites inside this huge stand. Immediately, I knew it had to be mine. After all, Grandma had given me as her only goddaughter plenty of other treasures over the years. When I came downstairs, my mom was surprised to see only one book in my hand. I told her the others didn’t interest me and this one was well, quite personal.

A few years ago, I heard how Harper Lee finally wrote a sequel to her best selling novel. I found it in the library detailing the life of a now grown up Scout Finch. Go Set A Watchman was released and then the following year, Ms. Lee passed away at almost 90. It was like her destiny to finally tell more of the story made popular 40 years prior.

We need to “write” our stories however they come to life for us. No need to publish but just make them your destiny everyday. This story today was brought on by another’s written before I was even born. I hope my son enjoys To Kill A Mockingbird in some way. No, he won’t have the same experiences but my wish is that some book along his destiny will influence his memories as is my wish for my daughter and all of you.

I reread my Grandma’s book shortly after bringing it home as the smell reminds me of her. From freshmen English, senior year, reading, writing my own book, and now— it all makes a difference. Every month should be for advocating literacy since the littlest words can truly create lasting memories. THANK YOU Harper Lee…. “Long Line Atticus!”

P.S. The table in the photo also belonged to my Grandparents and was in their home for years… ❤️

#ToKillAMockingbird

#GoSetAWatchman

#HarperLee

#literacy

#books ✍🏻🐦👩🏻‍🎓📚📗📝💚